A note from Andrea
Hello everyone, and welcome to the October newsletter. I’m Andrea, founder of my widowed friends, and I send these updates each month to share what’s happening across our growing community.
Our groups are built around something very simple: rebuilding a social life by having a cuppa with friends. It’s easy, informal, and something to look forward to each week.
October is a big month for mwf: the first Surrey groups are meeting, and booking opens for the Cornwall Christmas Lunch. Here’s all the news.
Surrey — Our First Groups Are Meeting!
I’m delighted to say that many Surrey groups are now open for people to join, with meetings starting from this month. The very first Surrey meeting will be the Farnham group on Tuesday 20th October.
Open groups are: Ashford, Camberley, Epsom, Farnham, Frimley, Guildford, Horley, Leatherhead, Redhill, Reigate, Walton-on-Thames and Woking.
Starting soon we have Chertsey, Godalming and Guildford-Monthly Weekend groups. It will be January for Caterham, Cranleigh, Dorking, Ewell, Haslemere and Staines-upon-Thames.
Cornwall — Christmas Lunch and Group Outings
Booking for the Cornwall Christmas Lunch opens on 15th October. You already have all the details in the email I sent on 2nd October, so please check booking details and the menu in that email.
If any Cornwall groups would like to arrange their own outings, that’s fine — just please make sure it’s arranged during your group meetings, includes everyone in the group, and isn’t planned for the same day as the Cornwall Lunch.
Thank You to Our Longest-Standing Members
As renewals start to come round, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has stayed with mwf. Your membership payments are what pay for everything: the advertising that lets widowed people find us, the badges, postage and printing, and the website and systems that keep the groups running.
Your membership payments also helped fund the adverts that have brought so many new people to the Surrey groups opening this month. As Surrey grows, it will in turn help pay for the groundwork for Devon, which we’re planning for 2027. So, your membership is helping widowed people in places far beyond your own group to find a coffee group of their own.
Thank you for being part of that.
Walking Into a Room of New Faces
Almost everyone feels a bit nervous before their first meeting. Walking into a place where you don’t know anyone can feel like a big hurdle. It might help to know that nobody expects anything of you except to have a drink and a chat.
You’ll spot other members by their badge. It’s a small, discreet badge: it doesn’t give your name, and it doesn’t say that you’re widowed. It simply shows that you’re part of an mwf coffee group, so members can recognise each other without announcing anything about themselves to the rest of the world.
Friendships grow from ordinary conversation — the weather, what’s on telly, the cake someone is eyeing up. Nobody has to say anything profound. And if you are feeling quiet then it’s fine to just sit and listen. If you keep turning up, the conversation often takes care of itself, and a few weeks in, “hello, how was your week?” is already the start of a friendship.
Why Our Venues Are Private
I’m sometimes asked why venue details are only given to members once they join. We don’t publish venue details, and members mustn’t share them either. The reason behind the privacy is simple: our meetings are for members only, and keeping venues private is how we keep it that way.
It means everyone at your table is a member, and so understands what it’s like to be widowed. If venues were published, anyone could turn up and the group would become a drop-in coffee morning, which is not what we are, and not what members have joined. It’s also fairer to the venues. They agree to host a particular group at a particular time, and unexpected extras arriving could put them in an awkward position.
For the same reason, non-members can’t simply come along to have a look. There is one exception: a member can bring one widowed friend to a single trial visit, so that friend can see what a group is like before deciding whether to join.
How the Attendance Texts Work
A quick reminder: two days before each meeting you’ll get a text asking if you’re coming, and you’re expected to reply that day. Y means yes. N means no, or not sure. You never need to give a reason, and if you replied N but find you can come after all, you’re still welcome to turn up.
Replying every week is a condition of membership, because those replies decide whether a meeting goes ahead. If enough members reply Y you won’t hear anything more; if not, we’ll text everyone to say it is cancelled, so nobody turns up to an empty table.
How do I join or get on the Interest Register?
If you’re in Cornwall, then your groups are open. Go to Join a coffee group in Cornwall – my widowed friends, choose your group and join using the joining form.
If you’re in Surrey, go to Coffee groups for widowed people in Surrey – my widowed friends to see which groups are open. You can join an open group, or register on the Interest Register if your nearest isn’t open yet.
If you need more information, have a look at the website first. If that doesn’t answer your question, email our AI helper Molly at molly@mywidowedfriends.co.uk or use the Contact form on the website. Molly can normally answer quickly, and if she doesn’t know she will pass your question on to a human (which takes a bit longer).
Stay connected
Visit our website: http://www.mywidowedfriends.co.uk/
Find us on Facebook: my widowed friends
Email Molly: molly@mywidowedfriends.co.uk
And finally
This time I’m ending with a quote from one of our members. This shows exactly how I want the groups to work – giving people a place for good company and an hour or so every week to look forward to.
After our Helston meeting this week a lady, probably in her 30s stopped me on the way out to say how lovely it was hearing us all chatting. She said she wished she was 20 yrs older so she could join. I explained that it wasn’t an age thing, that we are all widowed. She thought it such a great idea.
I think our chats that morning covered naughty pets, my house move, books, the changes in towns we used to live in and quite a few other topics.
It is definitely a lovely hour or so in the week to get out and meet people.
Thanks to Janet Wynne for letting me share her words
Andrea